Cell group (CG) meetings for this semester just ended yesterday.... I'll definitely miss the laughter and sharings. Anyway, just thought I'd share a couple of songs and quotes that I really like.
I'll start with my favourite song! This song really stood out... the first time I heard it, it just haunted me throughout the week, and I found myself humming it very often.
When the music fades And all is stripped away And I simply come Longing just to bring Something that's of worth That will bless your heart
I'll bring You more than a song For a song in itself Is not what You have required You search much deeper within Through the way things appear You're looking into my heart
I'm coming back to the heart of worship And it's all about You It's all about You, Jesus I'm sorry Lord for the things I've made it When it's all about You It's all about You, Jesus
King of endless worth No one could express How much You deserve Though I'm weak and poor All I have is Yours Every single breath
And while I was looking for the Youtube link for that song, I found a video with the same title, although the title refers to what the video is about and it's a completely different song. It's very meaningful though, and I love the effects!! I'll link it here =)
In our CG handouts, there's one that has a short biography of St Theresa of Ávila. There's one part that I particularly like, 'cause I can relate to it and it's amusing =p
A favourite story about St Theresa illustrates the intimate relationship that the saints have with God. When she was on one of her innumerable journeys across Spain, her horse threw her as she was crossing a river. Soaked to the skin, she looked up to heaven and said, "If this is how you treat your friends, no wonder you have so few of them!" We should bring everything to God in our prayers, even our reproaches. For a reproach, in the end, is simply our way of offering up to God our incomprehension of what he is giving us.
And one of last week's CG (29th October) readings really struck a chord in me, cuz it came at the right moment. Coming to NUS, I've always felt very inadequate. It's as if everyone here has a talent in one way or another. Almost everyone knows how to play at least one instrument, or they're good at sports, or they can sing very well, or they're super smart. Or maybe NUS just brings all these people together, to bring you back down to earth just in case you ever get too proud. But on the Saturday before CG meeting, I felt more useless than ever.... Went out with my friends for dessert, and it's like all of them just highlighted the fact that I am so utterly weak in every aspect. There's ASI who is quite athletic. There's ASZ who's just gifted and brilliant, the way I look at it. And that was even before I knew he's good at drawing too. And to make matters worse, I was reminded of the fact that I haven't gotten myself a job, but I'm still spending as though I can recreate the miracle of the five loaves and two fishes. I was also reminded of another friend of mine, FYK, who is simply amazing in his field of expertise, so to speak. He sings really well too, by the way.... The thing is, all this people have found themselves, their talents, their passion, their love, while I'm still a piece of driftwood out in the wide open sea. It's just that right now I've drifted among some treasures that probably came from some pirate's ship... *gets lost in fantasy world*
The point is, I felt very inferior among all of them, cuz I have nothing to offer, I can't help in any way. I am practically useless among my friends. These thoughts were swimming in the back of my head that few days, until I went for CG. There were a few readings, so I'll share them here.
12As a body is one though it has many parts, and all the parts of the body, though many, are one body, so also Christ. 13For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body, whether Jews or Greeks, slaves or free persons, and we were all given to drink of one Spirit.
14Now the body is not a single part, but many. 15If a foot should say, “Because I am not a hand I do not belong to the body,” it does not for this reason belong any less to the body. 16Or if an ear should say, “Because I am not an eye I do not belong to the body,” it does not for this reason belong any less to the body. 17If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? If the whole body were hearing, where would the sense of smell be? 18But as it is, God placed the parts, each one of them, in the body as he intended. 19If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20But as it is, there are many parts, yet one body. 21The eye cannot say to the hand, “I do not need you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I do not need you.” 22Indeed, the parts of the body that seem weaker are all the more necessary, 23and those parts of the body that we consider less honorable we surround with greater honor, and our less presentable parts are treated with greater propriety, 24whereas our more presentable parts do not need this. But God has so constructed the body as to give greater honor to a part that is without it, 25so that there may be no division in the body, but that the parts may have the same concern for one another. 26If (one) part suffers, all the parts suffer with it; if one part is honored, all the parts share its joy.
1 Corinthians 12:12-26 (The New American Bible)
And the first line of the given extract, taken from Word Among Us, 25th October says "Unity does not mean 'uniformity' - no two of us are the same!" That was comforting as well... to know that weak as I am, there's still a place for me, and to know that I don't need to be as strong as my friends are to be united with them.
On a side note, I'm filled with joy when I see my friends doing things that they love. Cuz it's very rare in NUS for students to do something other than waste their lives away. Fine, I'm exaggerating cuz I'm disillusioned, it's really not that bad. But it makes me happy seeing them enjoying life! It could be basketball, or reading Murakami, Dostoevsky and even books on mathematics, or watching House (*shakes head*), or even going for Meet the People sessions and joining Young PAP, Political Association and Policy Studies =) Ooh, and going for KBox sessions =p I really wonder why someone who sings so well was stopped from going to KBox when he clearly enjoys it.... Oh well. Not my place to question.
I'll end this long post with an excerpt from another song that's also sweet.
Nothing you can do Could make Him love you more And nothing that you've done Could make Him close the door
everyone is talented, at least that's what i think. you never know how others view you, maybe they think you are talented, just like what you think of others.
your writing is good, better than mine. and you are very strong, physically and pyschologically. you have surprised me in many ways. hugs
Been inspired to update by someone else who is a frequent blogger, hehe. Well, while I think about what to blog about, shall first share with you about an online test I found on my friend's blog.
Your view on yourself: You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you. The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for: You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship: You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you meet that person. The seriousness of your love: You have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Your views on education: Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you: You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.
How do you view success: You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.
What are you most afraid of: You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
Who is your true self: You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.
Hmm... interesting test, interesting results.
Sorry for keeping you up so late... do take good care of yourself, not just for your sake but also for the people who care for you, and I can see there's quite a few =)
The semester is coming to an end soon.... Feelings? Lessons learnt? Regrets?
As always, I wish time would freeze so I can remain in the status quo, but it's not plausible nor feasible. I enjoyed going to classes, learning new things, learning floorball, dance practices. Next semester will have different events lined up, different modules, different lecturers. The worst thing about moving on is the knowledge that I am growing older, but I don't want the responsibilities and worries that come with adulthood.
I'm not sure what I've learnt. But I guess I've settled down somewhat. I didn't like the feeling of being constantly uprooted, travelling from Singapore to JB and back to Singapore every weekend. I have to travel when I feel like reading. Have to carry stuff home only to bring more stuff back. I do want to meet up with some of my friends, but honestly it's a little difficult when I'm sometimes back for less than 24 hours. I wanna spend time with my family too! And I do wish TTH will stop saying I'm forgetting him now that I'm in Singapore and there's a lot of people wooing me. It's not true and it gets old! Why does going back have to be all about trying to meet up with everyone?
Regrets, a few. Lets just look at it as hopes for the future. Will learn to manage my time better. I intend to juggle studies with CCAs and a job or two. Minor? Double major? We'll see. Will learn to be stronger spiritually and emotionally. Still trying to find out who I am. After twenty years of living, I still don't know myself. Barney won't be around next semester, some people will be closer to their final year and might start getting busy? I don't know. Afraid of losing all these people who have brightened up my life.
This post is dedicated to all my readers, as well as to my roommate HWW =), and to those who choose to pursue their love and dreams despite all odds, who dare to be different. Cheers to The Sage and its roommate too... (",)
sZ, at
10:19 am, November 07, 2008
