And Jesus said to them, 'A prophet is only despised in his own country, among his own relations and in his own house'; and he could work no miracle there, though he cured a few sick people by laying his hands on them. He was amazed at their lack of faith.Mark 6:4-6
Sometimes, it really does feel that way.
I don't know what he saw in me, but I certainly didn't see him asking AS and ZH the same question. Funny thing is, this 'thing' he saw in me was never appreciated by my own committee, by my own family here in TH, if you can call it that. It was always someone else who gets 'talent-spotted', someone else who was given the chance, someone else they chose to focus their effort on.
I'm glad I got the chance to try out different things, really. But still, it's utterly disappointing and heartbreaking each time I'm not chosen, so much so that I've started to give up hope of ever being given a chance by the wise men. Cuz at the end of the day, it's not what I'm passionate about. Vanilla, for instance, always says how much he loves making videos. Imagine if, with all the love you feel for making videos, you were never given the chance to film and edit videos, but instead asked to do shape tweens and just plug it in. Well, was going for 'asked to carry tripods for others and look after the welfare of VPU members' or 'asked to coil cables and carry speakers', but it's really not that bad.
I don't regret the different positions I got to try out. The first time I was made stage crew, I felt useless and unappreciated, just a manual labour they could easily substitute with someone else. The highlight of my day was when I helped pick up the jacket that one of the performers accidentally tossed off stage. The emphasis of a stage crew's duties as defined by the wise men were always on our equipment (it may have been different during tech crew lessons, but this is PA I'm talking about). It wasn't exactly my duty, but I felt like I actually helped when I picked up her jacket. It wasn't expected of me, but it's the little details that delight me because not everyone notices. She thanked me when I gave it to her immediately after the performance, something we often forget. Not much credit ever goes to the stage crew. Cuz who actually cares? Certainly not the wise men. To them, stage crew are just the little pawns that you ask to do the brainless stuff while they run the show.
You always complain the backstage workers don't receive much credit. Ironically, you don't care about the backstage workers in your own committee either.
I enjoyed being the event IC too. Even though I feel it wasn't as complicated as Starry Starry Night and my thirst for something more challenging wasn't really satisfied, I'm quite proud of the fact that I did my best to plan ahead, communicated well with the person in charge from the Orientation Committee, looked after my team members' welfare as best I can (again, something often overlooked in 9th Tech Crew), and the event was a success. Little freshman, you think One Night Stand was a success? You're stuck in your own Little Miss Popular world, blinded by the limelights. What do you know?
Photography was a joy too. Getting the settings right makes me jubilant; looking at the beautiful memories captured in the photo I just took, the bright smiles on their faces and the silly poses they do never fail to make me grin and laugh happily. On a more depressing note, I probably enjoy taking pictures of them because of the vicarious joy it gives me, watching them experience something I rarely do. Whatever it is, being a photographer was something I enjoyed very much during my stint with the 9th Tech Crew, cuz I failed miserably in cramming all the knowledge from Temasek Web Team and Video Production Unit within a short period of time. Still, three months is too brief to master photography, and I can't extend my focus to include photography besides my studies and Pro Audio. And dance hasn't even begun.
Or rather I never got to join.
Oh well. Win some, lose some.
